'Scroll up, sweetie.'

My husband, a computer - system troubleshooter, rode with me in y new car one afternoon. He had been working on a customer's computer's all morning and was still tense from the session. When I stopped for a traffic light, I made sure to leave a safe distance from stop line to keep oncoming drivers from hitting the car. 

I couldn't help but laugh when my husband impatiently waved at me to move the car forward while saying 'Scroll up, sweetie.'

Why are tattoos usually blue (with an occasional touch of red?

Most tattoos are not blue. The pigment, made from carbon, is actually jet black. Since the pigment is lodged underneath the skin, tattoos appear blue because of the juxtaposition of black against the yellowish to brown skin of most Caucasians. Although red is the second most popular colour, many other shades are readily available; in fact, most tattoo artist buy many different colourings, premade, from DuPont.

We spoke to Spider Webb, leader of the Tattoo Club of America, about the prevalence of black pigment in tattoos. He felt that most clients, once they decide to take the plunge, want to show off their tattoo; black is by far the strongest and most visible colour. Webb added that in the case of one client, albino guitarist Johnny Winter, a black tattoo does appear to be black and not blue.

Car Alarms

I was with a friend in a cafe when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. 'What good are car alarms when no one pays any intention to them?' I wondered aloud.

'Some are quite effective,' my friend corrected me. 

' Last summer, my son spent a lot of time at the neighbours'. Whenever I wanted him home, I'd go out to our driveway and jostle his car.'

Engineer

As an engineer in an upmarket hotel, I was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture one-third the size of the screen. I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the hell: I struck the side of the TV with the heel of my hand. The picture returned to full size.

'Look darling,' said the wife to her husband. 'He went to the same repair school as you.'  

Why do we feel drowsy after a big meal?

After we eat a big meal, the blood supply concentrates around the digestive organs and intestinal system, reducing the blood supply for other activities. We tend to slow down metabolically and in our ambitions. ('Sure, why not have a fourteenth cup of coffee? They won't miss us at the office.;) Equally important, during digestion, foods are broken down into many chemicals, including amino acids such as 1-tryptophan, which help induce sleep. Serotonins, which constrict the blood vessels, also make us drowsy. Alcohol, if consumed with your meal, often produces sleepiness as well.

Answering machine

My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings.

'Mum, I call all the time,' I said. 

'If you had an answering machine, you'd know.' Soon after, my brother installed one for her. 

When I called the next time, I got her machine: 'If you're a salesperson, press one. If you're a friend, press two. If you're my daughter who never calls, press 000 because the shock will probably give me a heart attack.

Why do we wake up with such bad breath in the morning?

Most bad breath is caused by sulphur-bearing compounds in the mouth. How do they get there? And why is the problem worse in the morning? 

Micro-organisms in the mouth aren't fussy about what eat. They attack:

• Food left in the mouth
• Plaque
• Saliva found in the spaces between teeth, the gum and on the tongue.
• Dead tissue that id being shed by the mouth, gums and tongue.

The micro-organisms convert this food into amino acids and peptides, which in turn break down into compounds with a pungent sulphur odour.

Brushing the teeth helps rid the mouth of all these food sources ot the micro-organisms. But the best defence is a regular salivary flow, the type you get by talking, chewing or swallowing-things that most of us do only when awake.

Eliminating cavities is not only reason to floss. The longer food particles stay in the mouth, the more fetid the breath will e, so these hours of sleep are the perfect breeding time for bacteria and a threat to sensitive noses everywhere.